What is Sex Therapy

Sex therapy can be helpful for an individual or couple who feel their issues are affecting their quality of life, or just want to learn more about their sexuality. It can improve relationships and the erotic life in the broadest sense. We don’t just want you to solve your specific problem, we want you to grow sexually, unlearn bad patterns, rethink unhelpful misconceptions about sex and relationships, dismiss common myths and relearn a healthier model of sexuality. We want you to face sex with more self-confidence, less fear, and a greater sense of self-esteem.

Sexual therapy is very satisfying and clients can notice positive changes within just a few sessions. Consultations do not involve any physical examinations, or any sexual acts, but it does require you to openly talk about sexual feelings and concerns. It also requires a level of self-awareness. We’ll talk, we’ll try to figure out together what is the root cause of any difficulties, and we’ll give you some homework between sessions. You will have to work with your mind and body, both as an individual and/or as a couple.

“Sex is one of the few things in our culture that we are not allowed to watch in order to learn from, and because our culture’s history is so rooted in sex-negativism, just talking about sex for most people feels like going to the dentist! Instead of speaking up and asking questions, most people turn to pornography to learn how to be better lovers, which is like trying to learn to drive from watching The Fast and The Furious. Bad idea!” 

– Reid Mihalko

Sex therapy can help with many different issues, lack of sexual desire both male and female, painful intercourse, difficulties with orgasm, arousal disorders, erectile problems, involuntary (premature or delayed) ejaculation, sexual difficulties following abuse, fear of sex, sex avoidance, general lack of sex confidence, and so on. We can also work on poor body image relating to intimacy, jealousy, sexual orientation or identity struggles and alternative sexualities (see the list below).

Sex involves the body, the mind and the emotions, you’ll learn to understand how it all works together. Sex therapy is a meaningful process of unlearning and relearning. And is not a passive experience, you will be invited to participate by thinking, doing and feeling.

All of the work you do in the therapy room is based on talking, however, you are also given some practical activities/ homework to do at home.

I strongly believe there’s no ‘right and wrong’ when it comes to sexuality. No matter how you identify, what you’re into, your relationship status or how you approach sex and intimacy. You’ll be able to talk about yourself in a safe and confidential environment, free of shame and judgement.

“The most abundant aetiology of sexual problems, rather than medical or psychopathological origin, comes from lack of education and ignorance of sexual function”

– Master and Johnson, Human sexual response,1966

EN. Sexology truly specialises in sex therapy. There are many counsellors and therapist out there who claim to work sex problems, but they are not specialised. It’s very important that you take the time to research the qualifications of the professional. If the background of your chosen practitioner is psychology or medicine that doesn’t mean that they have studied sexuality. Sexological study is what distinguishes sex therapists from other medical and mental health practitioners.

Our therapist is a psychologist specialised in sex therapy and her work is currently focussed in sexuality and relationships. If you are struggling in your sex life you should see a sex therapist, in the same way that if you are having problems with your heart you should see a cardiologist.

Our areas of work:

Loss of desire – Differences in libido

Difficulties with orgasm – Involuntary ejaculation

Erectil problems – Arousal difficulties

Out of control sexual behavior 

Concerns about porn consumption

Fear of sex – Avoidance – Phobias 

Painful sex

Rape – sexual assault – sexual abuse

Sexual trauma

Sex education, information and orientation

Body image – self esteem – Sexual confidence

Sexual shame, guilt and other negative emotions

Sex orientation or gender identity struggles

Improving sexual communication

Exploring alternative sexualities: open relationships/polyamory, kink…

Erotic growth – Emotional intelligence

Creating a healthy relationship – Communication

Jealousy – Lack of trust – Infidelity – Break up 

Reinvigorating a long term relationship

Dating and relationship skills

And much more.

“One of the biggest myths that we have about sex is that is natural. Sex is not natural, we have to learn how to do it”

– Cyndi Darnell

Relationship Therapy

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to refresh its sorce”

– Anais Nin

Couples go through different stages, and it isn’t always easy to sustain connection, communication, or intimacy over time. Relationship therapy offers a safe, confidential space where both partners can explore their difficulties, understand each other better, and build tools for relating in healthier ways.

When can relationship therapy help?

  • Communication difficulties or recurring conflicts
  • Loss of emotional or physical connection
  • Trust issues (infidelity, jealousy, secrets)
  • Differences in sexual desire or intimacy
  • Feeling more like roommates or co-parents than partners
  • Constant tension around the same unresolved issue, no matter how many times you talk about it
  • Difficulty repairing after an argument, or arguments that escalate quickly
  • Crises following a major life event (birth of a child, relocation, illness, grief, job loss)
  • Adjusting to a new life stage together (empty nest, retirement, blended families)
  • Navigating differences in values, expectations, or life goals
  • Wanting to strengthen the relationship before an important step (moving in together, marriage, starting a family)
  • One or both partners feeling unheard, criticized, or taken for granted
  • Recovering trust and closeness after a difficult period
  • Separations that both partners want to navigate respectfully.

         “We live in the shelter of each other“

 – Celtic saying”

 

“We are all vulnerable in love; it goes with the territory. We are more emotionally naked with those we love and so sometimes, we hurt each other with careless words or actions. While these occasions stings, the pain is often superficial and fleeting. But almost all of us have at least one additional exquisite sensitivity, a raw spot in our emotional skin, that is tender to the touch, easily rubbed, and deeply painful. Wen this raw spots gets abraded, it can bleed all over our relationship” 

– Sue Johnson – “Hold me tight”

Underneath recurring conflict there is almost always something more vulnerable: a need to feel wanted, to be seen, to know you matter to the person you’ve chosen. When those needs go unspoken, they tend to show up as criticism, distance, or silence — and couples get caught in cycles that neither of them wants and neither knows how to stop. Much of our work together is learning to recognise that cycle, slow it down, and reach for each other differently.

You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy — many couples come simply because they want to understand each other better or feel closer again. Whatever has brought you here, therapy offers a space to slow down, be heard, and find your way back to each other.

 

 

Online sessions

No matter where you are in the world, we can still work together!! Isn’t that amazing? 

I’ll tell you a little bit about what is online sex and relationship therapy.

First of all, online therapy is talk therapy. The main difference with in-person therapy is that we will meet in a virtual professional office and have our conversations via videoconference.

The objectives and the content of the sessions are the same as face to face therapy.

All you need to start with is:

– A good internet connection

– Good lighting

– A quiet an private place

(If you decide to engage I will send you a quick guide with all the steps you need to follow to set up the session and make the most of it).

When looking for a specific therapy it is very important to find the right specialist. Sex and relationship therapy is the way to go if you want to overcome challenges around sex and relationships, whether you are single or in a relationship. There are not many sex therapists out there and sometimes online therapy is the only or the best choice.

There are many reasons why you would choose online therapy:

  • You live in a place where there are no psychosexual therapists at all.
  • You live in the countryside or far from the city.
  • Long waiting lists.
  • You live abroad and want a therapist that speaks your language (English or Spanish)
  • The commute is inconvenient, impossible or just adds to the expenses.
  • It’s easier to fit an online session in your busy life.
  • You travel frequently.
  • If you have little children you don’t have to worry about babysitting.
  • You may just feel more comfortable for various reasons.
  • You may find less threatening the idea of online therapy.

Research indicates that online therapy can be as effective as face to face therapy, click here to read about it.

Contact us if you have any questions.

English & Spanish

I offer sessions in both English and Spanish. Having trained and practiced in both English and Spanish, I bring that bilingual background directly into the therapy room. And if you’re a mixed-language couple, don’t worry — Spanglish is basically my third language. Sometimes hopping between the two in the same sentence just makes things easier and more fluid.

Terms & Fees

 REGULAR ONGOING THERAPY

  • Psychosexual Therapy (couples and individuals): £80/session (1hour)
  • Couples/Relationship Therapy: £80/session (1hour)

 

INTENSIVE-SINGLE CONSULTATIONS (one-off sessions)

 

 

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